


It's a boy

by TheIceQueen



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Big Sisters, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Crying, Fear, Fear of Coming Out, Feelings, Gay, Jokes, M/M, Men Crying, Nervousness, Pet Names, Prompt Fic, Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, talk about sex, they need to talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 02:32:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15939983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: Prompt:what about a one shot where they [Joe and Byron] are dating in secret (maybe Byron's worried about coming out bc of pressure of being Joe's bf?) and none of their friends or family know. Maybe one of them gets sick of it and they're fighting about it when Zoe drops in for a surprise visit or Josh comes by for a beer? They talk it out, one of them denies it until the other just kisses him straight out. ANGST af.





	It's a boy

**Author's Note:**

> This story has a follow-op/part two: The rest of our lives

“What are you doing? Zoe could be here any minute.”

“Exactly. I’m putting your pillow back in your room.”

“Why? It’s not like we’re doing anything in there anyway.”

Byron tensed his jaw and walked passed the other in silence. They’d had this conversation before and he was not going to start it back up now. Joe, on the other hand, was preparing for when Byron would reappear in the room.

“You know we can’t keep this up forever right?”

Byron picked up a jumper from the floor and hung it over a chair. “I’m not ready, you know that. You said you wouldn’t push me.”

Joe sighed loudly, making sure Byron heard it, turning his back on him pretending it was important that he cleaned the counter top. His hands were shaking with frustration and he tried to take big breaths to calm himself. It didn’t help. He suddenly turned around and walked determined to a shocked Byron and took his hands.

“I’ve been here before, you know that! I don’t care how long it takes you to get ready for sex, but I can’t have a secret relationship again. I won’t!”

Byron pulled his hands away and looked to the floor. Joe was never angry like this. Last time this issue had come up they’d both ended up crying in each their own room, and had made up in the hallway, because they both went to apologize at the same time. Joe was shaking, and Byron was sure that if he didn’t do something, he would end up losing him. It was just to big of a step.

“I can’t!”

Byron went for the door, but Joe stopped him with a firm grip on his shoulder.

“What the hell is so scary that you rather see this break?”

Everything was scary; Friends, family, the whole being a public person thing. Even having to live up to being with Joe was scary. Joe was one of YouTube’s darlings, Zoe’s baby-brother. He was lucky to even be friends with them. He shook his head and briefly looked Joe in the eyes.

Joe hated the fear in Byron’s eyes, but there had to be a change. It didn’t seem like they were a real couple. Five years ago neither him or his boyfriend was ready to come out, and it broke anyway. This was too important. Byron and he were different, they were more.

“I’m…” Byron wanted to tell Joe everything, make him understand. He’d been close so many times, but the lump in his throat always stopped him. “…Joe… Can we just let it go for now? I… I can’t…”

Joe let go of Byron and walked away in a tense silence, ended up by the couch and mindless folded the blanket. Byron stood still in the room, not sure what to do of himself. He wanted to hug Joe. He was the one he’d turn to when things went sideways, but he was sure he’d explode if he took even a step in his direction. The worst Byron knew was fighting with Joe, there was no refuge.

Placing the blanket on the armrest, Joe noticed his hand’s still shaking. Why the hell wouldn’t Byron just tell him what was going on. He understood the apprehension of coming out, he was nervous about that himself, but Byron was downright scared.

There was a knock on the door and footsteps in the hallway. Zoe was used to walking straight in, if they knew she was coming. Byron was still frozen in the middle of the living room, still not sure of what to do, not even sure he could play happy roommate today. Joe walked to greet his sister. Giving her a hug like always.

Zoe held on a little longer than usual. Joe didn’t mind, he kinda needed it anyway. After she took both his shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

“You’re shaking…” She looked investigative at him. “…and breathing fast. What’s up?”

Joe should have known he’d be busted as soon at she’d step through the door. He instinctively looked back at Byron.

This was it. Joe would tell. He’d had to. Zoe would figure it out one way or another. He felt tears pressing at his eyes and before he knew it he’s escaped the sight of the two. He wanted to go lock himself in his room, but he had to know what would happen, no matter how hard it would hit him, so he stayed right outside the door.

“Joe?” Zoe hadn’t let go of her brother yet. “Did you two get in a fight. I didn’t think that could happen.”

With a big swallow, Joe nodded and silently invited his sister to join him in at the table. He started on the tea, but Zoe took his hand at pulled him down on a chair opposite from her.

“What’s going on here? You don’t normally do this?”

Joe wanted to tell Zoe everything, but that wasn’t the right way, however, he wasn’t going to lie. “I think it might be the end of this.”

The confused look on Zoe forced him to continue. “It’s not like I haven’t changed roommate before you know.”

“Yeah but…” Zoe reached over and took his hand on the table. “…you’ve never done it because of a fight. You sure it can’t be resolved?”

Joe looked down. He wanted it to, but it just seemed like they were going nowhere fast, with this not talking thing. “I don’t think so. I mean I want to… I really do, but sometimes things just get backlogged.

On the other side of the door, Byron’s eyes were burning. His throat was clogging, and he felt more guilty than ever. Here he was, hiding, while Joe was doing everything to keep their secret, when he knew that all Joe wanted was to tell; for them to move forward.

The fear that he’d might lose Joe over this, suddenly became real. He was on his way out of this. Byron’s stomach hurt, he’d never felt such fear, his knees were shaking, and he had to bend down to support himself on them. Taking deep breaths did nothing to help him. The thought that Joe was leaving was crumbling, and so much worse than anything he feared before.

Zoe had stopped reasoning with Joe. Joe was holding both Zoe’s hands, on the table, with his. He couldn’t look at her anymore. If he’d start crying he’d might not be able to hold from spilling the whole truth.

A fifth hand covered the siblings' and took one of Joe’s, pulling him up. Surprised and confused he looked into the eyes of his boyfriend. With no words and no regards for the third person in the room, Byron cupped Joe’s face with both hands and kissed him deeply and long enough for Joe to catch up and hold Byron’s waist with light grips.

Joe’s heart beat fast and hard enough, so he could hear it, or maybe it was Byron’s. Pulling apart for air was too soon for both of them and Joe kissed Byron softly again.

“I’m sorry. I… I… don’t know…”

The words still wouldn’t come, but it could be from the rush of adrenaline or lack of air this time. Tears were rolling down his face and Joe’s face were just as wet.

“It’s okay B. It’s okay.”

Joe hugged Byron stealing a look to his sister at the same time. She seemed baffled, maybe even shocked.

When the boys pulled apart and was linked only by their hands she walked over. Byron was stiff as a board as they both would have expected, but Joe was surprised as to how nervous he was himself. All this time convincing Byron that there was nothing to be afraid of, he’d convinced himself the same thing, now it hit him. This was real on a whole other level.

Zoe placed a light hand on Joe’s shoulder looking from boy to boy. “I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming…” She smiled and looked Joe in the eyes. “I guess, you’re not kicking him out now.”

She wiped a tear from her brother’s face with her thumb and stood on her toes to kiss his forehead. “I won’t tell anyone…” She looked at Byron with kind eyes. He suddenly felt somehow protected by her. “…but when you are ready I’ll help and stand by you, and if you think hard enough you know everyone will.”

The hand’s holding Joe’s tightened as Zoe once again stood on her toes, this time placing a kiss on Byron’s cheek.

“I’ll leave you two alone. I guess I just became the third wheel.” She winked at Joe as she walked away. In the doorway she turned around, looking at the stumped boys, with a big smile and visible tears flooding her eyes. “I never wanted a sister anyway, so glad it’s a boy.”

The door shut, and Joe looked at Byron. He wiped the tears from the taller boy’s face and pressed their foreheads together and whispered.

“That was a rather big step. You okay?”

Byron found the words easier when whispering. “I’m good.” He buried his fingers in Joe’s hair and Joe mirrored his touch. “I’m still scared, Joe.”

Joe looked up and caught Byron’s eyes. “I know. I’m scared too. We’ll do it together. But you have to talk to me. What is scaring you?”

Byron sighed and looked at the floor, not knowing where to start. Joe took one of his hands and pulled him to the couch. Normally, Joe would lean on Byron, but in this moment,  Joe felt like protecting the guy, so he sat down first and pulled Byron down to lie his head on his chest.

“Just start somewhere. I won’t judge, you know that, right?” Joe hoped that it hadn’t been the reason Byron had held back.

“I know, I just couldn’t figure out what it all was about.” Byron snuggled deeper into the couch and pressed himself closer to Joe. “I’m scared how they all with react; friends, family. You know, where’re not exactly Mr. unknown either. The sex thing still scare me. I’m not sure when I’ll get there. And…”

Byron trailed off and Joe took the break to take it all in. It was a lot, no wonder he’d had no idea where to start.

“B… We’ll be together through it. I’ve only fought so hard because I know this is real. Let’s make it real. I wont ever pressure you to have sex with me. If it takes years of me kissing you to get there, so be it.” Joe pushed Byron’s head up, with a finger on his chin, and looked him in the eyes.

“As long as we’re together.”

He kissed the tall guy on the forehead. “What was the last thing? What ever it is we’ll deal with it.”

Byron looked down and settled on Joe’s chest again. “I… You…”

“B… sweetheart…?”

Byron took a deep breath. “You have all your friends here, childhood friends. You have a crazy big following. How am I supposed to live up to being your boyfriend?”

Joe pushed Byron up and sat up next to him. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. He took hold of both Byron’s shoulders. “I love you! That’s how.”

Shocked by the sudden and physical reaction from Joe, Byron sat frozen, looking in Joe’s investigative eyes.

“Do you doubt that I love you?”

“No.” Byron answered quick with no hesitation. This day had only confirmed what he already knew.

“Good. Hold on to that. Screw everyone else, if they like it or not. You only have to live up to _my_ expectations! You’ve already exceeded them by far.”

For the first time in months, Byron breathed easily, a tear broke from his eye but Joe catched it quick with a knuckle on his index finger, and pulled him in for another hug.

Byron rested his chin on Joe’s shoulder and closed his eyes. “I love you too. You have no idea how much.”

After a minute or so of hugging in silence Joe pushed them apart. “C’mon, I need a nap, and your bed is better than mine.?

First by Byron’s bedroom door, Joe let go of his boyfriend’s hand. He jokingly pushed Byron towards the other room, and sent him a big smile.  

“You better get my pillow back here.”


End file.
